Testimony - Becki Marshall

The story we are about to hear today from John 9 about the man born blind is personal for me.  In many ways, it is my story, for since my birth I too was born with a disease leading to blindness.  

My parents did not know until I was in grade school that something was wrong with my eyes, particularly my night vision.  It didn’t occur to me either.  I was an active ‘tomboy’ in the 60’s that played ‘kick the can’ and hide and seek after dark with the neighbor kids.  Only, the other kids could actually “see” the can t . . and spot each other hiding in the shadows.  I just thought everyone was running into the fences and hanging themselves on the clothesline – like me!  

Then, one summer night while camping with my family  -  my parents woke my two brothers and me for a walk in the woods.  They wanted us to experience seeing the full moon light up the forest – particularly the paper white birch trees.  

But I could not see what the rest of the family saw and my mom was alarmed.   Within a few months – and after many eye exams it was concluded that I had a genetic disease that causes night blindness called Retinitis pigmentosis.  (RP)   The effect is a slow perforation of the retina – reducing the amount of light to the eye, and shrinking the field of vision.   But, since the Doc’s couldn’t give my parents any definite answers of how quickly it would progress – I just carried on and did what most young people could do with just a few limitations.

Fast forward … to age 19.  College was a different kind of experience.   I was 40 miles away from home – and the church where my dad was the pastor.  I started to do some things I knew I shouldn’t.  In my heart, I knew that I was stepping outside the boundaries of God’s covering  - when I willfully gave in to the temptations offered to young adults.  Yet,  I had convinced myself  that I could indulge in a bit careless behavior.  Who would know?  

I had stubbornly refused my parent’s urging to attend a campus bible study get to know the “nerdy, Christian kids”.  I had adopted an independent, ‘do it myself’ version of what it meant to be a follower of Jesus.   After all - I had grown up reading and memorizing the Bible, singing hymns, and knew what the gospel was about.  

But as a young adult, I didn’t really KNOW God in a deep, personal way.  I had experienced His love and faithfulness through the lives of other people around me.  I could claim Him as my Savior – but I did not have a dependent relationship on Him.
Not until the RP went into hyper-drive.  In the beginning of that winter semester at school, I noticed a dramatic difference in my vision.  It was not good.  I called my parents.  They called the church family to pray – and we were sent to NIH – in Bethesda MD – to see what could be done to save my sight.

As a research patient – I was poked with needles, subjected to hours of tests and questions about ‘what I had  ‘taken’ or experimented with or done to myself physically.  There were things I had to “confess” to doing – so that the Dr’s could discern what was causing this attack on the blood vessels in my eye. The worse part was seeing the despair on my parent’s faces.  The Dr’s had told them – “whatever you need to do - do it now  -  b/c we don’t know when your daughter’s condition might lead to total blindness.”  So, each day or evening after I was free from testing – they would take me to dinner, a concert, or some of the National monuments around Washington DC.   It gave us a whole new perspective on “sight seeing”.

Finally, one night alone in my hospital bed I got the picture!  I was in big trouble.  I knew that many, many people back home and through the network of Christian friends and family were praying for healing or a medical breakthrough.  But the ‘breakthrough’ came – as I became fully aware that the Lord was trying to get my attention.

There was no audible voice – but Jesus was present – in my mind and heart – reminding me that I had given my life to Him as a young girl at camp one summer.  I belonged to him and so did my body and soul.  That night, I truly realized God’s amazing grace, because in spite of seeing my sin and rebellion – Jesus was loving me and offering me forgiveness, inner healing and a second chance to start a new life with Him.  

Amazingly, just a few weeks later – the activity in my eyes stopped and since that time - what should have resulted in total blindness nearly 40 years ago did not occur.  I still have many limitations – and I am legally blind in one eye – but as I have learned to read, study and teach about God’s amazing book  - He has replaced the physical loss of sight with spiritual insight and understanding.

David wrote about this in Psalm 19  “The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.”

To this day – there is no ‘medical explanation’ for why I am not completely blind.   One time at my annual check up my eye Dr. said:  “I don’t know how you do what you do, but I know this:   “Someone has His hand on your eyes.”I tell him – that “Someone” is God – and He is my light and salvation.  So, when I sing the lyrics to songs like:“Be Thou my Vision  or  “When I stand in glory, I shall see His face
… I know what that means.  What I can’t imagine is what would have happened to my life – had Jesus not come to me and touched the ‘eyes of my heart’ that very dark night of the soul?    

I know what the man in John 9 saw and understood.I too, was once blind – but now I see.